Valances

What are valances about, eh? We bought a couple at a shop in Tiverton last weekend - £39 reduced to £2.

If you've not met them before, all I can say is that they're a sort of skirt which apparently come in plain or pleated. Perhaps frilly is also an option. You use them to hide the base of your bed. I mean, how Victorian is that? Are bed divan bases erotic or something? I can't say they arouse me.

And the installation! What a palaver! Haved you tried moving a mattress? It's about as easy a job as herding cats. Hernia and/or rupture-inducing effort is required and all so that you can hide the bed's immodest bottom.

Someone's having a laugh.

And, what's more, these particular valances are Australian. They must have sent them over as a joke, see what else they can fool the Poms into buying. After all they've been successful with Foster's and Castlemaine 4X (and 'Neighbours').

Still, £2 each (Yes, we bought more than one - well, you have to, don't you, at that price).

A bargain.