Anchors Aweigh

Yesterday I dipped my toe into the techniques of film and television production by waffling on about how we could tell dawn from dusk in visual terms, the answer being 'it's all in the words, lovey' or, as Peter pointed out, in the sound effects. This leads us untidily onto lens filters.

Pixie does not like being photographed (and neither do I) but I was quite keen to get a shot of the two of us together during our recent visit to St Tropez. The straight on 'would you mind taking a photo of the two of us' photograph taken by a Dutch, Japanese or German tourist was not on the cards so I needed a device to lower the whinge factor from her ladyship to a level where image making became a possibility. Incidentally I should point out that I think she looks lovely as she is but I'm obviously not using the same grade of mirror in the bathroom - mine must be on the Snow White setting while hers is set to Wicked Witch.

There are a number of techniques I could have used in order to soften off any images I made of my little soul mate but none of them were readily available. The Hollywood methods involved things like smearing Vaseline on the lens or using white nets. On this particular day I was a bit short of anything smeary although I suppose I could have nipped into an epicerie and picked up some butter or a tub of fois gras. Similarly although St Tropez is an active port, the nets available were a bit on the large size, very damp and smelt of fish.

So I was forced to compromise. The anchor channel on this rich man's toy had a lovely reflective surface. It was uneven enough to provide a perfect distorting filter, removing any signs of blemishes, zits and spots from my beloved's visage and preserving her film star qualities.