A guy sitting next to us in a restaurant in Helmsley this week was complaining that he'd been in every pub in the town (and there are several) and not one of them was showing football in the bar.
Yes, mate, I thought, that's the reason why Helmsley is one of the most attractive towns in the British Isles. If you want to get involved in watching other people play sport, do so in the privacy of your own home (and keep the curtains closed).
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