Thursday, June 29, 2006

Measures Will Be Taken

The UK has been pursuing for many years, with no little resistance from its population, a policy of metrication. We have lost the gallon, pint, pound, ounce, foot and yard for buying and selling. The mile hangs on for distance although it’s only a matter of time and, oddly enough, the railways still mark bridges in chains.

Nevertheless, despite the insidious influence of Europe, we still maintain two essential non-metric units, one for area and the other for volume.

The first is Wales. This moderately sized constituent of the United Kingdom is the standard comparative unit of area measurement for television and radio news (Europeans use Belgium). Anything can be measured in Wales's - the destruction of the rain forest, extent of a bush fire, flooding, retreat of the Arctic ice-fields, in fact anything with an area that's roughly country-sized. It's a very handy unit for the media because no one has the faintest idea how big Wales is.

The unit of volume is the domestic cat. This measure tends to be used for animals and usually just in simple terms - bigger than, smaller than; it would be difficult, although not impossible, to quantify an elephant in actual domestic cat units (DCU). Commonly the DCU is used for reports of wild animals seen on the loose in Devon and Cornwall; these sightings often come from persons who've spent an evening on scrumpy or some other mind-altering chemical.

Whether these two important and useful measures are swept away by metrication remains to be seen. Perhaps the European Union will build a perfect 100 kilometre square wall somewhere which will be kept at a constant temperature and used as the standard area - I suggest putting it around Brussels would be a good plan as that's where most of the crackpot ideas come from.

For volume, the French would probably exert their considerable influence and insist that we replace the humble moggy with something more Gallic. The British will have abandon the cat and adopt the poodle. It will be a sad day.

And now, some of nature's jewels.

6 comments:

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Are you suggesting a 'save the Wales' campaign?

Pauline said...

Such interesting subjects you pursue! A standard American mile measures 5,280 feet. A foot in Charlemagne’s day (around AD 742) was the length of his own foot, approximately 12.7 inches (I can find no indication if it was a bare or booted foot), and an inch, in the tenth century, was the span between the knuckles of King Edgar’s thumb. By 1305, An English foot was established as the length of 36 barleycorns laid end to end, while in Germany it was the length of the foot of the sixteenth man out of church on a given Sunday. While Caesar ruled, the mile was measured in a Roman Legionary’s steps – 5,000 marching Roman feet – but in the sixteenth century, good Queen Bess added another 280 feet so that the English mile would measure exactly the length of eight furrows. So - what's all this about standard measurement?

Peter Bryenton said...

Oh, you give 'em an inch . . .

Iechyd da!

Canbush said...

JCN - No - being born in Gloucestershire puts me too close to the front line.

Lee - try the nanospaniel

Pauline - it comes from having a wandering mind and reading a lot - things pop into my head, no doubt due to the acres (or hectares) of available space there.

And thank you for the historical perspective - I doubt the human race will ever really standardise anything - too many cooks, too many vested interests.

Don't give them that inch, Peter.

Josephine said...

I've nothing clever to add...but, I do really like that photo (as usual)

Is it water droplets on a spider web? What is it?

Canbush said...

Hi Josephine. You have guessed right. I spotted them at the side of a path while out for an early morning walk. I had a macro lens with me so was able to get in reasonably close.